Ramblings of a Changing Man: Broken Not Beaten

by Steve Ferber

I remember when my son was considering joining the Marine Corps to fight the war on terror.  We had many conversations prior to his enlistment and all his reasons for doing this were sound and honorable.  He was running among other things to get in shape before he went to boot camp.  He hated eggs but knew that he would have to eat a lot of them so he started gagging down scrambled eggs to get used to them.  He watched Full Metal Jacket over and over again to start conditioning his mind to be ready for the training he was going to receive.

Well, he made it thru boot camp and infantry school and was ready to go to war in Afghanistan.  Thru all this process the Marine Corps saw his potential and tried to get him to go to any of the following; officer training school, pilot training or Force Recon (Special Forces).  All these things require additional training and a longer time in the military.  He was not afraid to serve, he just did not want to commit to anything longer than four years until he knew if he liked it or not. At the end of infantry school they were looking for volunteers to be heavy machine gunners; his sergeant volunteered him.  Off to war!

He came back from war a different man, good changes that made him a better person. He saw combat in Afghanistan, shared a little about that experience but not much.  He did talk about boot camp and infantry training.  Going in he had prepared himself to succeed, they would not break him.  They did.  He now knew the absolute necessity of that training since his time in combat operations.  These conversations and watching a few programs on television about Marine Corps training have brought to me a new understanding.  They were not out to beat these men but to bring them to the end of themselves.  Then they would show them how much more that they had inside of them, to continue on, to be better able to survive in combat situations.  They gave them a new frame of reference, a new mind!

Is this not what God wants of us?  He tells us that we are to renew our minds daily by the washing of His word.  Many of us already do this by daily devotions and studying the bible.  But this is not enough in itself!  The Jews were to study the law; know it and obey it.  God made provision for their short comings by animal sacrifice.  But God wanted more than this from mankind! He wanted more than obedience. He wanted a people that would seek after Him because they loved Him.  God showed us mercy and grace by providing Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for our sins.  And because Christ was obedient to the Father, we can receive His Holy Spirit to live within us, enabling us to commune freely and openly with the Father. 

I am afraid that my view of myself is formed more from my soul than my spirit.  For my soul knows what I have become, have I not traveled thru this life with it.  We can look back on all the things that have happened and agree that is who I am.  BUT THIS IS NOT THE TRUTH!!!  You see my soul’s view of who I am is tainted by my emotions, my understanding and Satins lies that he whispers into my soul.  Who am I to believe; my soul or the Holy Spirit of God that He has placed within me? 

I choose to believe the Spirit of God.  I will take up the cross of Christ daily, denying my soul and following after Christ.   I am willing to lose the life that my soul provides in order to gain the life that the Father has for me. (Luke 9: 23, 24)

Father, thank you for restoring the joy of my salvation to me.  Establish a willing spirit within me that will sustain me in the battle for my mind, denying the influence of my soul. (Psalm 51:12)   Help me to pick up the shield of faith which will extinguish all the lies of the evil one. (Ephesians 6:16)   Father I have considered the cost to these things that I ask.  I do not ask out of my emotions or understanding but out of a willing spirit, seeking to be more like the man you have created me to be,(Proverbs 20:25)  Father I trust you to break my very being, bringing my soul into submission of my spirit.

Let us consider together the mercy and grace of a loving Father.  God has instructed earthly fathers to discipline their children but not to the point of breaking their spirit. (Ephesians 6:4)  So much more is He to us.  He does not desire to beat us which leads to destruction, but to break our soul that we will be more like Him.  To be who He created us to be.

Father, grant us Godly sorrow which leads to repentance. (2Corinthians 7:10)  Create in us a broken spirit, a repentant heart which you do not despise. (Proverbs 51:17)