If you are a follower of Jesus you
are part of His Body. And every part
of Christ’s Body must willingly make
space and opportunity in their life for joyful belonging and connecting. This
sharing of our life in Jesus constitutes Body
Life. And as such we share an individual and a corporate life
and identity.
We need to first become acquainted with
and get to know our personal identity, which is who we are “in Christ”. Paul
describes this as our “new life”. Our “new” life is hidden (safe and secure) in
Christ with God. And he describes this as a mystery with us simultaneously
being in Christ and Christ being in us. And second, equally as real and vital, we
are ‘baptized’ (placed by virtue of faith) into His Body. Therefore we are
forever, moment by moment intertwined with Jesus, His Heavenly Father and his Holy
Spirit!
“But if God himself has taken up
residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of
him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present
God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. 10 But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells -
even though you still experience all the limitations of sin - you yourself
experience life on God's terms. 11 It stands to
reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the
dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus,
bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does,
as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his
Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's! 12 So don't you see that we don't owe this old
do-it-yourself life one red cent? 13 There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The
best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. 14 God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and
places to go! 15 This resurrection
life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously
expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" 16 God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who
we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. 17 And we know we are going to get what's coming to us
- an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through.
If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go
through the good times with him” (Romans 8:9-18, Msg)
Then corporately we are the Church! This
creates a shared identity that is natural, super-natural, universal and
historical. Shared identity emerges and develops best when/where grace-filled,
loving spontaneity and serendipity is mutually celebrated and nurture is facilitated.
“The way God designed our bodies
is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part
dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don't, 26 the parts we see and the parts we don't. If one
part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If
one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance. 27 You are Christ's body - that's who you are! You
must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your
"part" mean anything.” (1 Cor. 12:25-27, Msg)
Both of these realities are
incredibly dependent upon successfully creating a Christ-centered sense of
family. This sense of family calls forth an authentic, shared, common life. In
this corporate identity every individual can naturally and super-naturally
connect to Christ and His Body.
“The development of ‘meaningful’
relationships where ‘every member’ carries a significant sense of
belonging [and connecting] is central to what it means to be the church.”
(Randy Frazee, ‘The Connecting Church’)
This will require an integrous common
relational reality and conversation. It is imperative to realize that many
haven’t been equipped with functional or healthy relational skills. Instead
more of our brethren than we know or care to know come into Christ’s Body and
family equipped only with the skills and rules of a dysfunctional family.
The future
of the church depends on whether it develops authentic family/community. We can
get by for a while on size, skilled communication, and/or programs [that are
designed] to meet every “need”, but unless we sense that we belong to
each other; with masks off, the vibrant church of today will become the
powerless church of tomorrow. Stale, irrelevant, a place of pretense where
suffers suffer alone, where pressures merely generate conformity rather than
the Spirit creating ‘shared life’—that’s where the church is headed unless it
focuses on healthy vibrant community building.
The
church can be no stronger than her families are healthy and functional. And if
left unhealed and under-developed, the Body will have little chance of creating
healthy and shared life.
Dysfunctional families are
dys-graced and imploding at epidemic rates in today’s culture and
society. Unfortunately, most churches
have failed to see them as their own members and families. Too often, they
suffer in silence behind a pretentious mask of religious performance. And these
people of faith silently languish in doubt and hopelessness. They become the ‘glass’ people the church looks right
through; not seeing their incredible potential!
The ability to love God, others or self diminishes in light of
unresolved and unhealed life-dominating issues. But, it is equally enhanced
(and even exponentially increased) by addressing and healing these issues
associated with dysfunctional family systems. Too many Christian families are
suffering in silence and the devastation left in the wake of hidden addictions
and/or life issues. The inability to experience abundant and joyful living
indicates life issues needing healing.
Ministering to hurting and dysfunctional families is a challenging
task. The issues and problems associated with family dysfunction (i.e. addiction,
abuse, trauma, and woundedness) seem to be overwhelming. It doesn’t matter how
long we minister in this field-it remains a challenge that calls us to humility
and faith every step of the way!
Each person/family is unique and presents challenges that often
require long-term intensive spiritual care. Patience is not only a virtue; it
is a must for success and survival. No matter how experienced the leaders, no
one formula can be employed to address the problems they face. The presenting
and the underlying issues/problems/dysfunction are simply too great and defy
conventional methods. But, equally true is that you will be amazed at the
spontaneous flow of Holy Spirit in each person’s life.
The antidote to dys-function
and dys-grace is grace! Grace makes space and time for
function to develop. This ‘grace of God’ is the foundation to recovery in
family and community Body life.
“Grace
is the dynamic outpouring of God’s loving nature that flows into and through
creation in an endless self-offering of healing, love, illumination, and
reconciliation. It is a gift that we are free to ignore, reject, ask for, or
simply accept. And it is a gift that is often given in spite of our intentions
and errors. At such times, when grace is so clearly given unrequested,
uninvited, even undeserved, there can be no authentic response but gratitude
and awe.” Addiction and Grace, Gerald G. May
Too many of these precious, authentic families/believers have
languished in the hurts of their dysfunctional upbringing way too long, all the
while sincerely hoping to move beyond these issues to maturity. But ‘sick rules
and thinking’ kept them enslaved.
Shrouded in denial; for fear of shame and rejection, these hurting,
dysfunctional families (without graceful and truthful healing) will continue 'posing’ as normal.
It’s not that the cover-up is intentional; rather, it is that the
church is too often a closed system. The church often mirrors the ‘sick’ rules
that keep the dysfunctional family from getting the help they so desperately
need and long for.
Here are some of the ‘sick’ rules that keep hurting families from
grace and stuck in their secret pain and addictive behaviors. Do any of them
ring true to you?
Don’t
talk…while
pretending that the obvious elephant in the living room (or Sanctuary) is not
there—no one in the family/church system confronts what is painfully obvious to
even casual onlookers. Even loving confrontation is avoided at all costs, to
the demise and potential death of all involved in the silent charade.
Don’t
trust…with a ‘sick’ fierce loyalty, the addicted family system is
suspicious of the motives of any who would attempt to bring clarity and
authenticity to their attention. Having been hurt while placing miss-guided
trust in dysfunctional family members, this broken trust is unfortunately
projected on God and well meaning brothers and sisters in Christ.
Don’t
feel…while
languishing in intolerable pain (anxiety and fear) the dysfunctional strategy
of stuffing and walling off our painful reality is employed as a ‘sick’ friend
who will protect us from further hurt. To deny pain is to allow our hearts to
be kidnapped by hopeless fear, never risking the brokenness that brings joy and
peace.
There are others, but these three are the foundational culprits
that give rise to all manner of dysfunctional family symptoms. Do any of these
symptoms characterize individuals and families in your church?
·
We are incapable of building and maintaining
enduring, meaningful and intimate relationships with God, ourselves, or others.
·
We find it difficult to trust ourselves or
others in a deepening fashion; thus it is hard for us to live by faith.
·
We do not possess the skills or vocabulary
necessary for the healthy communication of feelings, preferences, ideas, or
needs.
·
We do not know how to manage the inevitable
stressors of life; we cannot easily play, relax, quiet, or rest.
·
We are resistant to change.
·
We are rigid and inflexible in our thoughts and
actions.
·
We lack the ability to grow spiritually and
emotionally.
·
We do not know how or where to seek help or to
offer help to others.
·
We do not know how to handle adult
responsibilities and relationships.
·
We often feel like we don’t belong anywhere.
·
We have difficulty developing healthy beliefs,
morals and values.
·
We have a strong need to be in control.
·
We have difficulty following projects from
beginning to end.
·
We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.
·
We give to others at the expense of proper
self-care.
In light of these prevalent conditions and needs in the family,
Biblically sound recovery ministry is not optional. Helping individuals and
families grow up grace-fully in Christ remains one of the greatest challenges
of the 21st Century Church. The following passage provides a
Biblical norm for growth. As you read it, ask yourself a very honest
question—does this Scripture reflect our contemporary Christian experience?
12 to
train (the original word for ‘train’ or ‘equip’ as other translations render
it, means to repair and prepare) Christians in skilled servant work, working
within Christ's body, the church, 13 until we're all moving rhythmically and
easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully
mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ. 14
No prolonged infancies among us, please. We'll not tolerate babes in the woods,
small children who are an easy mark for impostors. 15 God wants us to grow up,
to know the whole truth and tell it in love - like Christ in everything. We
take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. 16 He keeps
us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us,
nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. (Eph. 4:12-16,
Msg)
Everything that is Healthy Grows
Unfortunately, many coming to Christ today were
so impaired that if they are not also repaired it will be very
difficult to ‘train’ or ‘equip’ them to become prepared to live in the
fullness that is ‘righteously’ theirs in Christ. Through the hope of this
Gospel intervention Jesus nurtures them to grow beyond past and present infirmities. This is the essence of why
so many never reach their destined potential in Christ. Biblically speaking,
they are stuck in unhealed or unresolved infirmities.
In the New Testament, the word infirmity indicates a weakness or
lack of strength that exists from previously unhealed or unresolved wounding or
crippling. The word is rarely used in a purely physical sense. Rather, it
indicates moral, relational, character,
mental or emotional weakness or a lack of strength in those vital areas of
life. Having infirmities is
not sin, but they do weaken one’s resistance to temptation. Above all, Jesus
understands the fact of our infirmities. (This powerful understanding about
infirmity comes from the teaching of Dr. David A. Seamonds, especially as he
presents it in “Healing for Damaged Emotions”, published by Victor Books in
1991.)
Thus, infirmities
are qualities in human nature, which can and often do predispose or incline one
toward sin, sometimes without any conscious choice. The Good News is that Jesus
not only understands the feeling of our infirmities,
but as our High Priest, He understands the fact of our infirmities…not just the crippling, not just the weaknesses,
not just the emotional hang-ups and the inner conflicts, but the woundedness
and pain that comes from them.
He understands the shame, the frustration, the
anxiety, the depression, the hurts, and the sense of failure. He also
understands the rejection and abandonment of self, the loneliness and isolation.
He understands the medicating behaviors and the repeated relational failures.
He understands the vain attempts to cope and cover up. He understands our
secret wars and our many losses. He understands the struggles to bond and
remain functional in relationships. He has compassion on the inability to
attach to God and significant others. He understands the difficulty to
experience healthy friendships. He understands it all and can be touched by the
feeling of our infirmities.
The following scriptures introduce the healing
grace of Jesus for infirmities.
He himself took up our infirmities. (Matthew 8:17 NASB) Likewise, the Spirit also helpeth our
infirmities; for we know not what we should pray for as we ought; but the Spirit maketh intercession for
us…according to the will of God. (Romans 8:26-27) In Hebrews 4, Jesus
is portrayed as the one “who can be touched by the feeling of our
infirmities.”
The scripture further exhorts the church in
Romans 14 “that the strong ought to bear
with those who are weak, not passing judgment on them for their ongoing
struggles.”
The most dangerous life you can live is
an independent and/or ignorant one.
(Withdrawn and/or isolated—one becomes diluted and deluded by ‘a darkened
understanding’ and ‘blind spots’)
Because of unhealed or unresolved infirmities, many in the church
are stuck in life controlling issues. We then need and deserve competent,
compassionate ministry to aid us to be unstuck and healed. Like Jesus, we must
become a community of wounded healers and stop being unhealed wounders. When he
heals and matures us, he also calls us to function with the same healing grace
toward others. The following passage describes essential, non-negotiable
qualities of grace empowered relationships.
“You're left like an infant on a ship out of
control in the waves and winds of the storms of life. The fall of the dice
dictates while the deceptive teachings of men and their distracting tricks
entertain.
Love
(the revealed value that God sees in every man) gives truth its voice. In this
atmosphere spontaneous growth is inevitable. The whole person is addressed in
Christ who is the head of the body, (pictured as a conductor of music, epichoregeo.)
From
Him flows the original composition and detail of our design like words
intertwined in poetry, they connect layer upon layer to complete the harmony,
following the rhythm of His thoughts like footprints. Meanwhile the body
thrives and pulsates with the energy of love. Each individual part (portion) finds
its full measure there.” (Ephesians 4: 14-16, The Mirror Bible,
Francois du Tuoit)
“This mystery has been kept in the dark for a long
time, but now it’s out in the open. God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know
this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background,
regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this:
Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God’s glory.
It’s that simple. That is the substance of our Message. We preach Christ,
warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound
common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to
be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That’s what I’m working so hard at day
after day, year after year; doing my best with the energy God so generously
gives me. (Col. 1:26-29, Msg)
Walk in the profound
Grace of Jesus as we Intention Body Life
together! Ron Ross
